This week's problem comes from Candy and not feeling worthy of a good relationship.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Today I'm answering Candy's question about worthiness and being deserving of a good, healthy relationship after divorce.
If you want an amazing support system to be with you every step of the way through your divorce to help you handle the mental and emotional stress of all of it, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by clicking here. You can start making your life better now, and it all starts with you taking this first step and talking with me to find out how.
List to the full episode:
Featured on this episode:
Interested in the Divorce Betrayal Transformation? Learn more here.
Are you lost and confused about who you are after divorce? Don't worry. I've got 51 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Again. Click here to download.
Want to know first hand how Karin can help you with your specific problems so you can live an even better life than when you were married? Click here to schedule a free consult.
Haven't left a review yet? No problem. Click here to leave one.
Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Today’s problem comes from Candy. She says, “My ex dating someone new has brought up all sorts of feelings, one being that I only deserve bad treatment or I must not be worthy of a healthy relationship. What have you done to combat feelings like these? How did you feel up to ever dating again?
Thanks for your question, Candy. I have definitely struggled with thoughts like this in the past as well. I think most of us think that feeling this way is coming from seeing our ex dating someone else, but what’s really going on is having a habit of beating ourselves up when our ex acts a certain way. So when you see that he’s dating someone else, you have thoughts about being rejected or not good enough or not deserving or being treated good. Those thoughts are ones you’ve practiced for a really long time and they are easily coming up for you. You’re making his dating someone else mean that he’s rejecting you and that if he rejects you then there must be something wrong with you. But this is a story about yourself that is completely optional. You don’t have to keep believing that you’re not worthy or that his actions are a direct reflection of your worthiness of being in a healthy relationship. His actions actually have nothing to do with you and they don’t tell us anything about you.
I like to think of life as 50/50, it’s like the yin and yang. If you believe that you deserve to be treated bad, then that idea of 50/50 would also be true that you deserve to be treated good. Where can YOU start to treat yourself good? What can you do today to treat yourself good? You don’t need someone else to fill that role for you. You can start treating yourself good and kind today. Right now. In this moment. If you believe that you’re not worthy of a good relationship, then going back to that 50/50 idea it would also be true of the opposite, that you are worthy of a good one. Where can you begin to create a good relationship with yourself? Answer those questions and see what you come up with.
Thanks for your question Candy. I hope that helps. I will be back next week.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.
Comments