This week's problem comes from Anonymous and feeling needy in her new relationship.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Today I'm answering a question from anonymous. She struggles with feeling peaceful when she's around her new partner but when she's away from him all she feels is needy, like she's going through withdrawals.
If you've been divorced and are now in a new relationship, but are finding that old patterns of co-dependency, neediness and clinging are showing up then you need to come talk to me. I can teach you how to break your old habit of needing your partner to make you feel peaceful, happy and loved so that you can move forward into this new relationship without bringing your old baggage along with you. Set up your free consult with me and I'll walk you through the steps we'll take together. Click here to schedule.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Hi. This week’s question is from anonymous. She says, “I’m head over heels for somebody after my divorce. I feel really peaceful in his presence but when I’m not with him it’s like I go through withdrawals. I know I need to be more independent but what do I do to feel peace on my own?
This is a really great question anonymous because I think this is a very common thing that happens to women after they get out of a divorce and get into a relationship without doing the important work on themselves all along the way. The way you feel peace when your on your own, is by thinking about yourself different. When you’re with him and you’re feeling very peaceful, ask yourself why. What are your thoughts about yourself, about him, about this relationship that are making you feel peaceful? Start paying attention to those thoughts in the moments when you’re with him and then pay attention to what’s happening in your head when you’re feeling the withdrawal from him. When you’re away from him. What are you thinking. I would suggest writing all of these thoughts down as much as you can – the ones that make you feel peaceful and the ones that you’re thinking when your wanting. Having an understanding of the thoughts that make you feel what you want to feel will make it much easier for you to recreate those thoughts even when you’re not with him. Once you work on that and you start to recognize what’s going through your head, if you have more questions about how to implement what you’re learning come back to me and let’s fit it all together.
Thank you so much for this question anonymous. This was something that I struggled with as well, the figuring out how to be independently peaceful and happy and dropping the idea that I needed my partner to provide that for me.
Thank you for asking this question. I’ll talk to you next week.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.
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