This week's Submission is from Ariana.
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Do you feel like your ex left the marriage and then continues to reject you by making a great life for him, his new girlfriend and your kids? Are you constantly feeling like you were never enough and will never be enough? Do you just wish that you were lovable enough that he would have fought harder to stay married?
If you answered yes to any of these questions then this episode is for you. I'm answering Ariana's question about dealing with her constant feeling of rejection.
When you are constantly believing that you're not enough and that you never do anything 'right', it's hard to feel good about yourself or even know where to begin to love yourself and feel worthy. I know what this feels like and I know how to help you understand your worth and value. Click here to schedule your complimentary consult with me to find out more.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to Friday Flip on the Becoming You Again podcast. Every Friday I take your divorce problems, conundrums and questions and do a quick flip around to empower you to show up as the best you after divorce.
Today’s problem is from Ariana. My ex is always spending money on my kids and his new girlfriend, going on trips, buying things. This makes me feel bad about myself. He’s getting everything he wants and I’m over here drowning. It feels so heavy to know that he didn’t want me anymore and I don’t even know what I did to deserve this. I wasn’t good enough to fight to stay in the marriage and I’m feeling so unwanted.
Thanks for this submission Ariana. This is the hard stuff of divorce and I think many women can relate to what you’re saying and feeling. I think what is making this feel so heavy and bad is you feel rejected by your ex but then you continue to reject yourself by believing that you’re not good enough, you’re not worthy enough to be fought for or you’re not good enough to be wanted.
So there’s the initial rejection from him choosing to leave the relationship which of course feels terrible because rejection doesn’t feel good. But then you continue to create that feeling of rejection by blaming yourself for his choices and his behavior which also continues to feel terrible in the moment.
You are not responsible for his choices and his bad behavior. You can hand those back to him at any time. Giving yourself compassion, grace and kindness right now in this moment is going to help you more than beating yourself up and taking on the blame.
What would being compassionate with yourself right now look like? What is one way you can show yourself grace as you move through this challenge? What is one kind thing you can think about yourself in this moment? Answering those question and following through by acting on the things that you’ve come up with. Those are the things that will help you stop the cycle of feeling constantly rejected and will ultimately reconnect you with yourself.
Thanks for your submission Ariana. I’ll be back next week.
That’s your Friday flip! Stay tuned for the weekly podcast episode that comes out every Monday. And remember if you want more one on one help from me as your divorce coach to help you create an even better life than when you were married, then you need to schedule your free consult with me by going to www.karinnelsoncoaching.com Remember that’s Karin with an ‘I’.
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